In my last post I dealt with The Queen of Swords and trust issues. That was about trusting/distrusting others and trust/ lack of trust in Life itself. The Queen of Wands has it easier because she trusts herself. She trusts in her ability to handle what others and Life bring her way. She doesn’t expect people to behave a certain way or for outcomes to always be to her liking. But she is confident in her ability to make the most of it. Yeah–Queen of Wands! My Role Model!
I’ll admit it, I have trust issues. And the Queen of Swords has them too. She’s been coming up in my readings a lot because I’ve moved and the whole process of moving or doing anything that big requires trust. So it’s time for me to look at TRUST.
The Queen of Swords seems to anticipate problems, her watchful eye is looking to cut away the source of them. Sometimes that is exactly what the situation calls for, but I don’t want to walk through life with my sword ready.
For me it’s two issues, trusting other people and trusting Life. Trusting others is a little tricky because they are not always trustworthy, but on average more of them are than not. And usually things can be worked out with a little effort and communication.
When I dug a little deeper, I realized that my trust problem really stems from something larger–not really trusting in life. For example: when people don’t follow through or do as they say or disappoint in some way, I sometimes blow that up into–the whole project will fail.
This catastrophizing is taking away from my pleasure. I want to relax and trust in Life. I’m glad that the Queen of Swords has been showing up, reminding me that the sword is always at my disposal; but I can leave it in its sheath, and only take it out when I really need it. Just acknowledging this issue, has lessened my fear and made my heart lighter.
My ideas and opinions shave changed throughout my life. And that seems to have accelerated in the last year or so. I used to think that I had something to teach regarding Tarot and even spirituality. But as I change, I realize that there isn’t anything to “teach”. I just want to love, myself and others as myself. Sometimes I really need to love myself a lot in order to love some people and some things that are happening. I’m happy. I think I’m nicer than I used to be. I am simpler. Anyway, that’s how I feel now.