Anxiety and Compulsion and NOTHING

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Recently I gave up the habit of biding on ebay. I had been addicted to the search, the bidding process and the anticipation of winning. When I dropped this habit what was left was: NOTHING in it’s place. I believe that warding off NOTHING is why I developed the habit. Maybe NOTHING is behind every compulsion and anxiety. And behind these little compulsions and anxieties are what really makes us anxious: like death being in our future and the truth that so much of life is not in our control. Being okay with those truths is scary, but liberating.

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